Remabulous

Hibernating.

It's been raining the past few days in LA. Not unusual for most cities in the US, and many are getting snow right now. But many of us moved here not expecting to be cold. Cold here feels different than it does in other places.

When I lived in Maine, cold was a machismo thing. I was pleased I had a California driver's license and a mint-green Mini. I liked being the California girl who could take that bitter cold. At least I thought it was. Everyone kept saying how warm it was that year because it didn't get that far below zero.

There is a big difference between the east and west coasts when it comes to cold weather and that can be summed up in one word: insulation.

In SF I lived in a magical carriage house in Noe Valley behind a bakery and a flower shop with a friend. It was a dream, most of the year. During the winter little things about the house stood out. Like the fact that the windows didn't always connect glass to edge of frame. So we had drafts. Huge drafts. But, it's California, so not to worry, right? It's warm here!

Not so, dear ones.

I dare you to wear just a tee shirt and shorts in my house this time of year and walk on my floors without socks.

If you can hack it, I'll make you a whole cake.

Challengers please leave notes in the comments. We will contact you for details of the challenge.

All others, I suggest you do like I am going to and enjoy a tasty friday early evening nap before heading out into the chilly night.

Yum.

My goodness, so many adventures and a brand new look!

I am so excited to show off the new banner that the amazingly gifted Jessica Kewson of Design Krew whipped up for this site. It makes me want to blog all day every day. So... here goes on the latest adventures here at Remabulous.

I saw Where the Wild Things Are a week or two ago with my friend Erin, and find that I am enjoying the thoughts I have had about my life after having seen the film. I have mixed feelings about the movie itself, but the thought of going off on an adventure and thinking about who I really am in this wild life I've made is more and more essential as time goes on...

This time of year is always a mixed bag. I am especially shocked this year to find myself in November. It feels like it's impossible that and entire year has passed. I have done so much, met so many amazing people I didn't previously know since this time last year and am so grateful for all I have learned.

And yet, a year feels like a much smaller unit than it used to, doesn't it?

Using your passion as a compass.

This week has been one of those that strikes fear into the heart of anyone who is changing jobs, starting a new company but not ready to talk about it, or just dreaming a big dream behind closed doors: the holidays.

No other time of year requires people to answer the question "What do you do?" over and over again at the same event more than the holidays.

Here is my philosophy for holding onto your dreams and your sanity through the holiday season:

image: X Ceccaldi

Emptying out.

Lately, it feels like I am being squeezed. There is so much pressure in the world around me that I feel wrung out. Househunting in Los Angeles is a different animal than it was in San Francisco. There are fewer beauties to choose from, and therefore a greater sense of loss when a magical place is given away, especially when right now I am dying for nothing more than to feel at home.

I often feel lots of pressure as a coach to have it all together. To be in balance and have it all figured out. But I am so far from being at that point. I have moments when I am calm and clear, but there haven't been many of those moments lately. What I am realizing is that my work makes me open to take on huge loads: loss, illness in myself and others, stress, and fear about starting and running a business. If I didn't go through all of this, then I would not be able to relate very well to others in difficulty. I would only be able to give what a friend calls "cardboard answers." I am so grateful that the conversations I have for a living are real and deep and wide. Speaking with clients about their lives and hopes makes it all feel worth it. A client going through a breakup or one who is scared about making enough money- I know how this feels, and I can speak from inside the experience.

It's amazing the gratitude I can fit inside this one body. I have to keep emptying myself out with this squeezed by the world feeling. I need to make room for something more hopeful and grateful. It hit me hard today, while talking to a client. How lucky I feel to have this life, even if it isn't all sorted out yet, and even if I got drunk last night and told the same story several times over. Even if I am far from perfect and much more wobbly than balanced. And even if I still cry these days. A lot.

image: 'empty' by atconc via flickr.

Reconstruction: 10 ways to survive post-breakup.

Over the past few days, I have been mired in trying to understand what happened that caused a relationship that I felt had more promise and hope in it than most that I had previously been in to spiral down into a crash-and-burn ending. I have been so lucky to receive comments, thoughts, phone calls, and e-mails from so many wonderful people I am lucky to have in my life. I have gotten to go through the past week with a co-pilot, something I have never been lucky enough to have before. Knowing that there is so much support and opportunity to connect and reach out makes me feel so grateful.

But even with all of that present, it is still painful and sad. Here's how I am trying to make sense of things and move forward:

image: face it. via flickr.

Trying to inspire authenticity.

Since I am Carrie and Danielle's featured profile of the week, and their work is all about inspiring authenticity, I have decided to go for that example this week. I am in a place where my life and my work and my whole world feel like they are being shaken up and down and all over the place. I seem to have lost all the bearings I had even just a week or two ago.

I used to have this idea that we keep thinking we reach points where life is just a straight shot forward along a planned trajectory and that we can count on that. But then it jerks to the side and back and when we turn around and look back, nothing has happened in a straight line. That is how it feels at the moment.

Stunned.

I wasn't going to share this, but a post by Jen Lemen has encouraged me to stay open and be real about what is happening in my life. My boyfriend decided to end our relationship. I am reeling from this decision because the relationship was something we had been working on very hard, and was one that I felt could still be salvaged. I see now that I was wrong and have so many feelings about this. Running through the entire thing to see where it went wrong. What I missed, what I could have done better. Or what I should have seen was the case much sooner, but didn't want to. It is hard and even more brutal than I imagined.

At points like this, I am so grateful to do work that I love with people who amaze and inspire me. Speaking to my step-mother this morning, she asked me if I felt that I could go on with my work and my days in a way that felt good even though this was happening. I was comforted by the response that came out of me- that contiuing to coach people was the brightest thing I could think of doing in the face of this. Thank you all for honoring me with your trust. It is a delight to support you.

Shaking your foundation.

Today an earthquake hit Los Angeles as I was in my apartment on the phone talking to my mother. It was about a 5.6 apparently. Where I was it was enough to shake the building back and forth, but not enough to knock things off shelves and walls. Still It scared the cats.

It struck me, this image of having one's foundation shaken. It is a feeling I am familiar with lately even without earthquakes. When one starts out on an endeavor like choosing an outside-the-box career, it helps to prepare for these experiences. What is your "earthquake insurance" so to speak? WHo do you count on when you get scared or when things are truly challenging? What measures do you have in place should the whole venture crumble under the forces of nature?

If you prepapre in advance, perhaps it will be easier to enjoy the ride. Perhaps not. I emerged unscathed and only slightly shaken by the experience- earthquakes are far more frequent in SF than LA. Still, it made me wonder- what do we count on when it appears everything is about to fall.

I was walking home this evening and overheard two schoolgirls talking. one told the other how surprised she was that, when the earthquake hit, she didn't grab her computer and her ipod like she had expected. She ran and grabbed her little brother in the school.

It is stories like that that give me hope.

Adaptation: Worth watching again for more than just the film.

I saw Adaptation orginally in the theater in 2002 when it came out. I liked it very much, and thought it was clever and funny and original. I might have watched it once more and then hadn't thought about it much since. WARNING- spoilers if you haven't yet watched it...

Michael brought it over to watch after dinner last night and I was surprised how much I loved it even having seen it before. I think there is something to the idea that movies have very different things to say at varying points in our lives and this one spoke pretty directly to everything I am muddling through at the moment...

the footprint

am retreating to lower case since i'm feeling a bit small and washed out today. the post blogher crash has been more than expected. still, there's a lot to think about that was discussed and i want to keep that conversation going.

i couldn't help but think the whole thing went much faster this year. there were so many things i wanted to be able to do that there just wasn't time for. sort of like camp, where you want to try every single activity but there aren't enough activity slots in the day.

one idea that came out in the beautiful blogging and positive posting session was the idea of the footprint. some of you may have seen these carbon footprint off-setting certificates that are available if you fly or if you commute regularly. they put funds towards planing trees or other practices to counteract the emissions created here. i loved that this was brought up by kyran pittman in the context outside just emissions. she talked about assessing the footprint of your blog. i took the photograph above, of little seedlings tacked up on a fence for all to take home in the mission in san francisco, which reminded me or krystyn heide's assertion that it is important to touch people with blogging out in the real world who might never read a blog. i would go further even than blogging, and apply the same principle to life and work...

image: caroline donahue for remabulous