Remabulous

To be resolute for New Year's, or not?

So... here we are, in that window of time between Christmas and New Year's. I seem to spend this time in a minor freak out mode. Waking up in the middle of the night with the financial figures from my business over the last year blaring in my head and feeling that I need to learn how to change everything to a new level RIGHT NOW.

Christmas Eve, I was up reading from 5am to 6am, trying not to work on Christmas. I managed to stay away from email Christmas through Boxing Day, but may have to send a couple messages today, despite my best intentions to be off this weekend.

But the real question now is, since I already have a list going for 32 between Augusts, do I then make one for 2010 as well?

I am a list-maker by nature. I make them daily when working, weekly as well, quarterly, and now annually to track goals, ambitions, projects and progress.

Is there a point when there are too many lists?

This makes me think of one day I was enjoying some time in a park near Berkeley with my boyfriend at the time who was, if possible, even more list-oriented than I am and when I suggested we not run off to do the next thing on our lists that Sunday, he became terribly fidgety until a light bulb went off over his head and he leaned over and asked,

"Wait. Are we having unstructured time now? I just want to be sure."

It was great. And funny, and a little sad because so many of us need to structure our structure free time. I sometimes become stressful on vacation because I feel I am not relaxing enough.

So the question for me now is, shall I make a list of resolutions for 2010 that add to the list I have, shall I refine the 32 list, or shall I just try to deal with anxiety about whether or not I live a meaningful life by making a list that has nothing on it, like the one above?

Thoughts? Suggestions? Commiseration?

Onward to the Holidays!

Los Angeles is nothing if not ridiculous. This tree is the one at The Grove shopping mall near my old apartment. When they light that sucker up there is no shortage of ambiance... frequently they turn on the fake snow machine as well.

Funny things this year. My family on the east coast is leaving several feet of snow in Baltimore to come here. We always wanted a white Christmas, but now we will just have to watch it on tv. 

I am still shocked that it is almost Christmas. I've spent the last few days handing out gifts, all the while still feeling like it's April or March even. 

I do like the energy of the end of one year and the beginning of the next, though. New fresh willpower, intention to exercise, eat well, do more cultural things, and get out into the world.

I am going to celebrate this holiday by doing nearly nothing from the list. I will bring Madame Bovary and hopefully read through that, but other than that, a girl needs a week totally free of ambition and getting things done.

Family time and lying around on the floor. And watching dumb movies with my family.

I hope you have the time and space to do the same.

Have a favorite recipe or tradition? Anything you hope to accomplish in 2010? Start putting it out there!

Share what you've got below. Will post on Emma Bovary's exploits from Santa Barbara, where I'll be setting up shop and shooting some video with my brother's help.

Enjoy the last of this year! There will never be another 2009. For many of us, that is a sigh of relief, but there is still time to make the last bit wonderful.

Let's all give it the old college try.

Many hugs from LA.

Planning for success, and taking a rest in anticipation.

The time between mid-December and the end of the year is a funny one. Most people seem to drift off into a dream and it is slow for many non-product oriented businesses. I've been enjoying giving myself a bit more ease in my days and in taking the time to set really solid intentions for 2010.

This year, my assistant and I took most of a whole day planning out the future of this site, my business Remabulous, and my web show Stakeout Girl. It felt so good to have the whole year laid out on paper- when I would finish the goals on here, what the themes would be for each month in Remabulous, and to start researching a formal show calendar for the stakeouts.

How amazing to have gone from #32 on the list here, "Go on a Stakeout" to a show that requires planning time and research. It's a good feeling.

I find it is necessary to get a little bit braver this time of year: to look at the spreadsheets of income and expenses from the last year and look ahead to what is possible next; to dream bigger for what I hope to bring to life this next 52 weeks.

It feels a bit like being in the semester break at school- I never really left school mentally, if we're honest- and I am getting ready for Spring semester.

What will a new semester bring for you? I do plan to make a little list for 2010 in addition to the birthday list. I do like a chance to plan for greatness, and New Year's is always a good time for that. So it will happen, as will the theme for the year, to be announced on the actual 1st day of 2010.

Do share your plans and hopes and jitters at this time. We'd all love to know we're not alone having them.

Hibernating.

It's been raining the past few days in LA. Not unusual for most cities in the US, and many are getting snow right now. But many of us moved here not expecting to be cold. Cold here feels different than it does in other places.

When I lived in Maine, cold was a machismo thing. I was pleased I had a California driver's license and a mint-green Mini. I liked being the California girl who could take that bitter cold. At least I thought it was. Everyone kept saying how warm it was that year because it didn't get that far below zero.

There is a big difference between the east and west coasts when it comes to cold weather and that can be summed up in one word: insulation.

In SF I lived in a magical carriage house in Noe Valley behind a bakery and a flower shop with a friend. It was a dream, most of the year. During the winter little things about the house stood out. Like the fact that the windows didn't always connect glass to edge of frame. So we had drafts. Huge drafts. But, it's California, so not to worry, right? It's warm here!

Not so, dear ones.

I dare you to wear just a tee shirt and shorts in my house this time of year and walk on my floors without socks.

If you can hack it, I'll make you a whole cake.

Challengers please leave notes in the comments. We will contact you for details of the challenge.

All others, I suggest you do like I am going to and enjoy a tasty friday early evening nap before heading out into the chilly night.

Yum.

Wheat's not gonna have me beat.

So. I really opened quite a can of worms when I took on my skin condition this year with the promise to myself that I would conquer it once and for all.

When you've spent 5 years covered in welts that the literature helpfully describes as "resembling leprosy", it can get a bit depressing at times. I have had fantasies of the nunnery creep in more than once. Although... not at the moment as I have had a gentleman caller recently, but he reads the blog so I will leave that topic at that.

Just know that goal #6 is still on my radar. I don't slack on this list, people.

But back to the leprosy.

For all the years I have been shuffling between doctors, immunologists, dermatologists, acupuncturists, chiropractors and basically anyone who stayed still long enough and commented on my skin situation: "Did you bang your elbow?" or "Wow- did you burn yourself?" being common conversational openers on the topic, no one has ever been able to give me a cause for this.

Granuloma Annulare isn't genetic. People with it don't even consistently respond to treatment. Some of it just goes away out of nowhere if you have it less than 2 years. (Insert sad trombone here for me).

The one refrain that kept coming up, though was "It seems to be some sort of strange autommune reaction." They responded to this by turning my immune system off for a number of months last year, which resulted in a total remission of the condition, followed be a full relapse once my immune system recovered, and I got sick enough that I had to have my tonsils out before they killed me with ever higher fevers. (104.8 being the winning temp)

So now there has been a new development. Thanks to the amazing September of Red Carpet Cleanses, I was off everything except yummy raw juice for a week and then did a detox process with Healing Waters in Burbank to get the obscene amount of Candida that was clogging up my system. Yay!

As I started to reintroduce food at the end of the cleanse period, I had a rude awakening. Wheat sent me into an instant digestive disaster. See the bastard grain pictured above. (I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say I spent more time in the bathroom than at the table when out to dinner having pasta with my parents a couple of weeks ago.)

So, things started to add up. Skin problems, autoimmune problems, digestive problems since I was pretty young. And Celiac disease- gluten intolerance- is pretty much right on for my experiences. Hmmm. Inability to gain weight- just ask all my angry high school classmates who used to dig through my lunches to see what I was eating. Plus the fact that I could never give blood because I was too puny. Still am kind of build like a teenage boy, but I do my best.