Make space for yourself! Are you pushing your own buttons?

Sometimes, things don't go according to plan. We cannot control the outside world, much as we'd love to, so our actions and choices as business owners, and simply as people, are limited to what we say and do ourselves. 

 

This is a good reminder. This past week,  I introduced my neighbors' chickens on the vlog. These might be the luckiest chickens on earth. Well cared for, loved, and living in a penthouse-quality coop in a beautiful garden. What a great life! As I contemplated how important it is to me that the eggs I eat come from happy chickens like my neighbors, I realized that we as business owners sometimes treat ourselves like factory chickens: no time outside, long hours "cooped up" without exercise- sound familiar? 

 

For all of us who interact with the world, we are bound to find issues, people and situations that push our buttons. Perhaps we dislike lateness, or messiness, badly treated chickens or unexpected changes in plans. These are just suggestions, but we all have our buttons and we know when they have been pushed. 

 

When we get set off, we usually go into a reaction right away. "This shouldn't be happening!" we think, or possibly "Why do I have to deal with this?" or "This is a disaster!" (on our more dramatic days) 

 

Once we get through that part, here's where we can benefit from the experience and make some positive change in our own lives. Stop to consider for a moment:

 

"Is the reason I am so upset about this because I push this button on myself?"

 

When I asked this question after the stand up date, I realized that yes, I do stand myself up all the time: missing exercise dates I make for myself, working later than I intend to and not giving myself the reward of a break or a film in the evening. 

 

It's every bit as hurtful when we let ourselves down as when someone else does it. Plus, realizing we are just as capable of screwing up as anyone else is, can help us have more compassion and patience for both us and them.

 

So this week, when you hit a roadblock and want to get upset with the world for doing this to you, give yourself space for that reaction and then ask:

 

"Is this perhaps a reminder that I could be treating myself a little bit better?"

 

Being kind to yourself and offering a treat or a free hug, as pictured above is a great way to lessen the impact of upsets outside your control.

 

Please share your thoughts and discoveries as you play with this idea in the comments below. Let's all learn from each other. 

image: kalandrakas