some of you may know about carrie&danielle, the vancouver-based canadian pair who dreamed up the idea of a style statement. this is simply a personal brand: two words that sum up who you are in life and how you can hold your focus on your best. check out their site for a more eloquent manifesto on the subject.
i read about them in domino magazine and, most likely, in decor8 as well and decided a session was the perfect present to give myself for the big 3-0. i've just completed the first part of the process, an in-depth interview about all that i love, value, and also where i give myself a hard time. the questions were fun and illuminating as well as unexpected. i really enjoyed speaking with danielle and found it easy to just spout off on any old topic she threw at me due to the total ease and safety that she provided (she's pictured above on the right, with business partner, carrie). she is now off cooking on what we talked about and when she returns i will have a style statement just for me. i'll return with the verdict...
image: carrie&danielle
yesterday morning in big sur, i got the call i've been dreading for years. my brother, having rushed mouse to the vet said that this kidney infection was much worse than we thought. he has had them before and has always pulled through. my brother has never had to rush him to the vet. nor has he had to tell me that it was his gut instinct that i come back.
so i was at esalen for about five minutes to cancel and then drove back to los angeles, anticipating the few days he had left holed up with him trying to make him comfortable. but he didn't have that much time. i got the other call i have feared from my cat sitter when i was still a few hours away. she had stopped in to give him a dose of medicine before i got home and he was already gone.
there is really no way to prepare for this. he was only seven and, despite the fact that vets have been telling me he had a very weak constitution for years, his tenacity and ability to pull out of medical crisis after crisis had me believing he could keep rallying for years. denial is a bitch.
this first day is horrid. the reason you pump tons of money into vet bills and treatment is that a cat is amazing. he slept under the covers with his paws on my shoulder and was in my lap every time i sat down, leaving his white fur all over everything. the rest of the time he was wrapped around my big fat tabby, his lover sebastian, pictured with him above. these are among the last pictures taken of him.
i will miss him and am so grateful that i had transitioned to working from home these last months. if you have animals, it is such a blessing to live this way and to have them as officemates. he was extraordinary and the absence of his loud voice is already leaving sebastian and me in a much-hated silence.
to all of you with pets i wish them long happy lives and hope you have as much time with them as you can. many thanks to those who had heard and have been sending messages. it means a lot.
so, i suppose esalen will have to wait for my thirties.
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