So... I am learning more and more about asking for help and delegating. A new and delightful opportunity on Remabulous is that I have a fantastic guest post today from Jill Brown of Duchess. The lady knows her stuff and I was so happy she was willing to share some knowledge with us.
As you all know, 32 for 32 goal #8 was "Find Love." Such a small task. Hee hee. I know I'm not alone in this search and I KNOW many of you face the same challenges as me- working from home, too busy to date, frustration with the whole process. I have called in some help for us all.
Take it away, Jill!
You are a busy, inspired, hard working woman. Your career is going
great, you have fabulous friends, you love what you do and you’re happy
with your life. In essence you have it all! Do you ever in the middle of
having it all have a sinking suspicion however that something is wrong?
Perhaps even missing?
If you’re like most modern day women, the thing you’ve probably suddenly
realized you’ve left aside is your love life. More and more women today
are independent, successful and have great lives. But odds are good those
great lives are also filled lives! You know you want to date, find love
and be in a relationship – but where’s the time (much less the man!)?
Here is the honest truth about dating and relationships that I’ve learned.
I can promise you if you follow these tips, you will re-discover dating
and find the romantic relationship you are seeking.
1. Make It a Priority: How did you take on your last project at work? With
enthusiasm, research and devotion? Did you plan carefully, mapping out
your important points and carefully considering the outcome over multiple
revisions and drafts? Are you using that approach in your love life? Or
are you waiting around hoping it’s going to happen? Are you actively
making time for dating? Are you taking the initiative to ask out
attractive interesting men? It’s 2010 ladies! We all love to be asked out
but that means the guys too! The worst that can happen is he’ll say no (or
he has a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend) and you are no worse off then five
minutes ago. Make it a priority! Schedule it in. Make at least one night a
week “date night,” who cares if it’s with a different date? Married
couples make time for dating to keep the love alive; you should be too!
Get in the habit now of making love a part of your routine.
2. It’s All in the Numbers: Of course we all would love to have the first
date be Mr. Right as we ride off into the sunset in his shining
convertible 911. But for the majority of us, love is cultivated and
discovered after many bad dates. In fact, bad dates from here on out are a
GOOD THING. Yes, I said it! A good thing. Why? Because a) you’re following
my advice from tip one and b) you’re discovering what you don’t want. You
can look at that as a bad thing, but really, it’s a silver lining. If you
know what you don’t want that means you also know its opposite – what you
DO want! So let every bad date give you hope. You’re getting closer to
finding the right one. There are billions of people in the world. Is it
really so bad if you go on ten bad dates to find your Mr. Right? What
about a hundred? What about an old friend you’ve lost touch with? I was
friends for seven years with my boyfriend. I never had a clue we would one
day be in love. But we got back in touch last year and we’re already
planning a life together. Look for the opportunities to date everywhere.
Approach love like Edison approached inventing the light bulb. When asked
how he kept going after so many failures (10,000 in all!) he said, “I had
to succeed. I was running out of ways to do it wrong!”
3. Let go of the myth: When talking with my editor and friend Josie Brown,
the co-author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right (and long
time happily married fabulous woman) she suggested the need to let go of
the mythical Mr. Right. No one is going to be perfect (no, not even you!).
And if you’re so attached to what Mr. Right is going to look like and be
like “on paper” – you may miss out on some great opportunities at love.
Expand your horizon, let down your boundaries and see what’s out there.
You never know who your Mr. Right could be disguised as – so give up the
myth and see how quickly you’re embracing a great man!
Every woman has a regal purpose only she can fulfill. Jill Brown, a Los
Angeles based coach, writer and columnist, founded Duchess, LLC to help
every woman re-connect with her own unique self! She believes in providing
you with the tools you need to build a long lasting, well balanced
kingdom. It starts with you! Whether you’re single and ready for love or
in a relationship and looking to rediscover your self, you are the key to
lasting happiness. If you’re ready to reclaim your spirit, let go of
stress and fear and step into a life of love, purpose and passion – visit
www.theduchessequation.com to get your free foundational tools now. Long
may you reign!