#6 has turned out to be quite the saga this year. Honestly, I only put something to do with relationships on the list in the first place was that I thought I needed to be more specific after the 31 for 31 list's "Have sex" item failed. 100% no action of any kind last year. So "Find Love" seemed like a better way to approach it.
And in many ways I have been delighted with the result. I am more open to what love means right now. I am so aware of how much I love my friends, my family and my city. I do love LA. It surprises me to think this, having been such a die hard Bay Area citizen for such a long time, but I do.
And during this tricky phase with the gentleman caller, I heard I love you from friends and family almost every time I spoke to them. The support was incredible. And even though we were experimenting with being apart, he and I still said we loved each other in what we wrote back and forth and when we spoke.
Ultimately it seemed silly to feel that way so clearly and not be together and figure out what that means as we go.
You don't have to swallow a challenge all at once. You can take life in little bites. I like this better.
It was a beautiful thing to trust what I believed was possible and to see that trusting in myself and my beliefs was the right thing to do.
And perhaps this painful period of time was a way to really get to the deep bottom of #6: Find Love. I know that I have more knowledge than I did before.
And it feels good. But next time, I have informed my gentleman, we're going to do this in a less traumatic way. Phew!
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